Dawn Patrol (no. 3) – Reposted from Patreon

Image is of a sunrise at The Point at Edisto Beach, SC, where the chapter is set.

I completely forgot to repost this, but after I did the directory for my chapter commentaries, it of course resurfaced. It’s one of my favorites, so I just had to share it here. Most notably, this section was a big reminder that it’s okay to let go of “the plan” and allow characters to be themselves without having to fit a predetermined mold. If the plot feels stuck or a scene just isn’t working, you can try changing a character’s role or behavior in that scene, or you can try changing the setting. I didn’t think that would make such a huge difference, but once I changed the setting, even just a few miles up the shoreline, I found myself writing a different–better–chapter.

Of note: the chapter is titled after the unofficial name for the group of volunteers who search for and care for the sea turtle nests. I used to have a blue volunteer shirt that said “Dawn Patrol” on it.


Front Page & Table of Contents |Read Chapter 2 | Support The Ryozae Alliance on Patreon

Oh, boy, what a journey this one has been!

For starters: This is a whole different chapter than I had originally written.

In every earlier draft of the book, Mireia was the one who liked to save random creatures. She and Bernard both took part in saving our mystery critter, and the whole scene took place at the opposite end of the town, on State Park grounds. When I was a kid, it was common for people to enter the park from the beach without paying, and no one really did much to enforce the boundary. I also volunteered with and around the park a few times, so I was aware that I wasn’t supposed to be doing it . . . just . . . lackadaisical about it (I was a kid, and I was broke!). A lot of that experience was reflected in the chapter.

And . . . because it’s a small town . . . there isn’t much to talk about outside of the usual gossip . . . but one thing my former friends at the park would want you to know is that no, they in fact do not want you entering without paying.

It was also among the things that made the chapter really long, and there was quite a lot going on there that was interesting for me in its nostalgic qualities, but in no way served the actual plot.

Several things changed for the better in this chapter:

  1. Bernard became the only wildlife fan, and officially an actual volunteer, narrowing all nature-talk to his perspective. Mireia’s a bookish girl with a severe case of Senioritis. That’s all she really needs to be, at this time. They don’t both need to be wilderness heroes.
  2. I was afraid that changing Mireia’s character would make her more traditionally “girly,” but allowing her to be free of some designated traits allowed her to become her own person, and she behaves much more naturally.
  3. The location was moved to the South end of the beach, at the mouth of the South Edisto River, versus its previous location at Jeremy Inlet. Rather than trying to explain the Sea Island’s relationship with nature, it became easier to show it. Estuaries are incredibly complex, and the setting provided a better opportunity to express the intertwined nature of coastal ecosystems.
  4. Because the location was moved both to a different site and different time of day, there were realistically far fewer people about. It’s much easier for Bernard to find and hide a mystery creature.
  5. The change in location also changes the story of how the creature got there. In some ways, this has simplified it greatly, since there are also no longer any visible signs of his attacker.
  6. Fundamentally upending the chapter by changing everything broke me out of feeling beholden to a specific series of events, and the perceived notion that every little thing needed to be explained. Basic A-B-C plot points remained, but the journey became more fluid and workable into something better, and a lot of exposition keeled over and died gloriously.
  7. The creature was originally half-dead, not apparently dead, and it talked a lot. The new story of its arrival takes it closer to the brink, and this not only provides a better window for demonstrating certain biological quirks, but it gives Bernard and Mireia more needed time alone in the setting–in a way that feels much more organic and not forced.
  8. The setting needs to be slow at this point, but it needs to be organically relaxed and not sluggish or unnecessarily lackadaisical.
  9. Both characters can drive. I was deprived of the experience of teenage independence, so I originally had them waiting on Bernard’s mother to pick them up. Then I remembered that most teenagers drive. I’ve been told that’s not as often the case as it used to be, but in the 90s that was absolutely true. Mireia’s now driving her family’s old station wagon, as it should be. I still haven’t decided if Bernard has a beater of his own prior to the car he ends up with. Maybe Drestan gives him an old truck. Not sure yet. Chevy or Dodge, since neither brand has yet received much love from me. Or I end my love affair with a luxury brand and give him an 80s model Jeep – a car that can go anywhere and will never, ever, ever quit if cared for properly. Keeping a vehicle running into Infinitum is more his style.
  10. The original draft included vague media allusions. This was the summer Titanic came out. It was a BIG DEAL and would have been on Mireia’s mind. Leo DiCaprio was a really big deal. I remember my female classmates absolutely fawning over him (next to their favorite boy-band idols and a few other young male celebrities). Grown men balked at the mention of his name into the early 2000s. The news of the ship’s initial discovery at the bottom of the ocean was also still relatively fresh in people’s minds. It was found in 1985 and I remember seeing it on the covers of magazines 8yrs later. …Men in Black also came out this year, and was alluded in earlier drafts of a later chapter. At this time, the only pop culture references remaining are a few 80s cartoons near the end of part 1, mainly because the scene still tells us something about Bernard and his family, but talking about characters talking about movies is far less interesting, no matter how realistic it was in the moment.

And yes, I have literally had people come up to me after crossing the UNMISSABLE BRIDGE and the sign that says “Welcome to Edisto Island,” and ask me how far it is to Edisto (it took me a long time to figure out this meant, “Where’s the beach?” because most people don’t understand that it’s an island. And you can tell from the way they drive that they super do not know where they are going. . . Like . . . seriously. It’s an island. There’s one road. There’s literally no way the driver could have made it there without looking at a map. But I guess it never occurs to people to look at surrounding landmarks, like big rivers.). Mireia’s experience is absolutely something that happens on the regular. Maybe for an outsider, it’s normal not to know where things are, but it’s all on one road. Really. It is.

On that note: I have heavily considered inventing a new island altogether.

I love Charleston. I love it dearly. I love the people, ups and downs and all their quirks. I get quite passionate about the strength of Sea Island communities and the little things that hold them together . . . and the things that drive them apart. Around 2013, a major travel magazine featured Charleston, SC., however, and ever since everybody and their cousin has been moving there.

So I was reluctant to maintain Edisto as a setting. Our tiny little island can barely sustain its existing popularity. To force it to handle any more would be a detriment to the community and the ecosystem – and you beach-bound tourists might not think that’s such a big deal, but the ecosystem not only feeds the communities, it also buffers hurricane winds and soaks up flood waters.

The ecosystem is literally keeping coastal communities from washing into the sea.

Let me repeat that: The ecosystem is literally keeping coastal communities from washing into the sea.

Long-lasting coastal communities are built in cooperation with the ecosystem, not in opposition to it.

So I am begging you now, and will continue to plead: please respect our communities. If you love it, help save it for next year, and the year after, and for generations to come. We love visitors, but realtors are tearing down more live oaks and palmettos at alarming rates.

Local organizations preserving this rich, beautiful community include:

The Edisto Island Historic Preservation Society

The Edisto Island Open Land Trust 

The Edisto Island Preservation Alliance 

Others along the coast are too many to name, so wherever it is you like to visit on your vacation, have a look around – there’s sure to be someone who will appreciate your support!

Please also visit the website of the Gullah-Geechee Heritage Corridor to learn more about this rich, unique community thriving on the Southern US coastline. And support the much-anticipated International African American Museum, which opens in January. (Edit: The museum’s opening was delay, and it officially opened on July 27th, 2023.)

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